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    Conrad's fail-safe predictions for the 2009 MLS season

    By Jimmy Conrad
    Special to ESPNsoccernet

    Friday, March 13, 2009

    Friends, I implore you to stop what you're doing, sit down, put your feet up, tell the powers that be that you'll get back to them in five minutes, hit mute on the television, turn off the radio, put your phone on vibrate, make the kids go play outside, and relax to every word I'm about to subject you to. Consider it a free brain massage. After a decade of soccer-related decadence, I tend to believe that I have my finger on the pulse on a variety of goings-on in a variety of things and tha ...

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