Since the Kansas City Chiefs apparently solved all their issues during free agency, they can now address one of the league's biggest problems: shoulder-length hair.
That's right. Chiefs GM Carl Peterson, keeper of the pompadour, is finally taking a stand against dreadlocks and Dan Campbell's mullet. In case you hadn't noticed, the defensive backfields of the Titans and Packers have joined in a conspiracy to prevent fans from seeing their last names.
This brave stand may stem from a 15-yard penalty that Chiefs running back Larry Johnson received when he tackled Steelers safety Troy Polamalu by the hair after a turnover in 2006.
"It doesn't mean players have to cut their hair," said Falcons president Rick McKay, co-chairman of the league's Competition Committee. "They might have to keep it under their helmet."
For some reason, it helps to imagine McKay wearing Bermuda shorts with knee-high black socks when he made that statement.
This is further evidence that the league has lost touch with reality. Did they sense that fans or sponsors were put off by dreadlocks? This sounds like something David Stern would come up with while deciding which penny loafers to wear to the office.
The competition committee is endorsing this anti-dreads policy in a half-hearted manner. What does the league hope to accomplish with this rule? Were fans and television spotters clamoring to see the names on the back of jerseys?
The good news is that we're sending at least five reporters to West Palm Beach, Fla., to cover the hair vote. And judging by the opening line in John Clayton's story, he's up to the task: "The Kansas City Chiefs aren't calling for NFL players' scalps, but they want to stop the free-flowing of hair."
I guarantee you John was giggling as he wrote that sentence.
